


Worth Everything

by SMDarling



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Anal Sex, Biting, Bottom Steve Rogers, Canon-Typical Violence, Kinktober, Kinktober 2017, M/M, PWP, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Rough Sex, Top Bucky Barnes, sex in public
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-04
Updated: 2017-10-04
Packaged: 2019-01-08 23:15:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12264087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SMDarling/pseuds/SMDarling
Summary: Another battle, another self-sacrificing move by Steve.Bucky's had enough of watching Steve throw himself at death, and as soon as the fight ends, he tells Steve so.They come to an agreement, but forego shaking on it to fuck instead.





	Worth Everything

**Author's Note:**

> [Kinktober 2017](https://kinktober2017.tumblr.com/), "public" off their Day 3 prompts (also maybe counts for "biting"?) This one has a more intense set-up than the first two I've written this month, and the premise might be triggering? Post-battle, Steve had a close call, canon-typical stuff. It is literally just a plot device to get them to fuck in what is ostensibly a public location, but I've put a more in depth warning in the end notes just to be safe. If anyone thinks I need to add more details in the end notes or more tags, please let me know!
> 
> Also, high-five @Self for day 3 done!!!

"Bucky, Bucky wait what are you--?"

"Shut up Steve."

"But - cleanup?"

"They can damn well wait _ten fucking minutes_ for 'cleanup'!" Bucky snaps, metal arm tightening painfully on Steve's bicep as he pulls Steve away from the wreckage of Manhattan's latest supervillain battle. 

"You are coming with me _right now_ , Steven Grant Rogers, and we are going to discuss your goddamn _death wish_!" he growls over his shoulder. 

"I don't have a death wish, Buck," Steve says, but he stops pulling back and lets himself be dragged. 

"If you didn't have a death wish, Rogers, you would stop _throwing yourself_ at death!"

"Buck, he was going after that school bus, I couldn't--"

"He was the _literal manifestation of death_ and you just _threw yourself_ into his literal _goddamn arms_!"

"But I didn't die!" 

"I don't care!" Bucky roars, slamming Steve against a brick wall in a grimy, out of the way alley. "You could have, you almost did!"

"Buck--"

"And don't give me that bullshit about not having a choice, Stark was less than thirty seconds behind you, he could've blasted the motherfucker!"

"By then it would've been too late!"

"The goddamn Hulk picked the whole damn bus up and moved it out of the way Steven!"

"The kids would've-- Wait, what?"

"Yeah, greatest strategist this century and the last, didn't spend even a second to look around and realize the Hulk was fucking closer in the first place, and by the time you were in the air swan-diving into death's arms the bus was _already out of the line of fire_!"

Steve doesn't know what to say to that. He slumps against the wall, defeated. 

"Understand why I call it a death wish now, Stevie?" Bucky leans over Steve, caging him in against the wall with his arms, metal and flesh alike streaked with blood and dirt and reeking of sweat and gun powder.

"I . . . Yeah Buck, I guess so. I just. I dunno. They were _kids_."

"I know sweetheart, I know. But there were other options than your life for theirs. You always assume," here Bucky pauses to inhale sharply, and Steve looks up at him. 

With Steve slumping so far down, and Bucky towering over him, Steve viscerally remembers Brooklyn alleys almost a century ago. Bucky would corner him sometimes, just like this, when he'd rescued Steve - yet again - from another fight Steve never would've won on his own. And Bucky would yell then too, but his eyes were never angry. 

Bucky won't meet his eyes, and that's familiar too. So familiar Steve's breath catches, and he wonders for a brief, mad second if his asthma is back. 

He scared Bucky. Again.

And this isn't just a brawl in Brooklyn anymore, this is evil and monsters and superheroes and villains, and just like Bucky said - the literal manifestation of Death. 

"Oh Buck," Steve says, reaching up to cup his dirt-streaked cheek with the (blood-stained) leather glove of Steve's Captain America uniform.

"I had to literally _yank_ you out of _literal Death's_ actual goddamn physical _hands_ ," Bucky says desperately, suddenly meeting Steve's gaze. 

"I've had to do that, fuck, so many times Stevie, from the first time you had pneumonia winter of '29, from so much, and I know this is who you are, you always gotta be the hero, you _are_ a hero Stevie, but you can't-- You have to . . ." Bucky trails off, nostrils flaring and eyes wide in panic. 

"I'm here Bucky, I'm here and I'm alive. You got me out, you kept me safe, I'm here. I'm alive," Steve says, holding Bucky's face in both hands and pulling so their foreheads meet. 

"You gotta start looking for alternatives Stevie," Bucky whispers. "You sacrificing yourself? That needs to be plan Z. At best. You need to try everything you can, be the great strategist and tactician I know you are, that's not all bullshit, and figure out something else."

"I can't just let innocent people die though," Steve whispers back.

"You don't have to! And besides, even if you save yourself instead of them, so what?"

Steve straightens at that, letting go of Bucky's face and crowding instead into his space. "So what? _So what_ , Bucky? My life isn't worth any more than theirs!"

"Yes it is!" Bucky snaps, hands still on Steve's biceps pulling to slam him again into the brick, harder this time, enough to make dust fly up around them. 

"Your life is worth everything--" he roars.

"No it isn't--" Steve tries to protest, hands going up to Bucky's chest to push him off.

"To me!" Bucky finishes. 

They stand in silence, panting, glaring at each other, still in each other's space. Steve's face is flush with anger, and Bucky's eyes are cold and furious. 

"Bucky," Steve begins. 

"No Steve. _No_. Your life is worth everything to me, you know that, but I know this isn't just about me either. Your life is worth more than theirs, objectively, because _you_ are a hero, because you might let civilians die--"

"Children," Steve corrects.

"Even children die, but in a battle where it's you or them, you save hundreds - _thousands_ more by choosing yourself. You go on to save more civilians, more children, in the battles you fight, in putting away the monsters you stop. Without _you_ , Steven Grant Rogers, more people would die. 

"And _I know_ , baby you know I know how hard it is to watch innocents die. But you're important, you are worth _more_ , and if one person or even a hundred have to die so you can go on to save how many? You've saved the entire planet once or twice, in case you don't remember. You saved millions when you stopped me."

"But I didn't stop you," Steve says quietly, anger dissolving all at once, looking at Bucky in front of him.

"Yeah, I remember, you stopped fighting me, dropped your shield and everything, because you have a death wish--" Bucky growls, ramping up to keep lecturing Steve, hands tightening on Steve's arms again.

"No Buck," Steve cuts him off, "I stopped fighting you because _your_ life is worth _everything_ to _me_."

Bucky's mouth is open to keep ranting, but no sound comes out. 

"Goes both ways, doesn't it?" Steve says, raising an eyebrow. "I saw what you did earlier, taking that hit meant for the people on the sidewalk. You went down hard, and I thought . . . Well. I didn't see you again until you were, how'd you say it? 'Literally yanking me out of literal Death's actual goddamn physical hands', right?"

They stare at each other for another beat. 

All at once they move together. Bucky's hands go from Steve's biceps to his shoulders, holding Steve against the wall and crowding in so he's pressing flush against Steve's body. Steve's hands tangle in Bucky's hair and pull hard enough to hurt, dragging Bucky's face forward to his. 

Their tongues are out of their mouths and licking at each other even before their lips meet. They're both breathing harshly, Steve twisting Bucky's head this way and that to find a better angle while Bucky continues to crowd into him, desperate to make sure there's no space between them anywhere on their bodies, despite that they are both still wearing their uniforms.

Bucky sucks Steve's tongue into his mouth and bites down until Steve's whimpering. Steve, in turn, latches onto Bucky's lower lip and _gnaws_. 

Bucky thrusts his hips forward without thinking, and despite the thick material of their tactical pants, he can feel Steve's erection, hard next to his. Steve moans, trying to thrust and meet him as best he can while being completely pinned by Bucky's bulk. 

Bucky breaks the kiss with a groan, a string of saliva still connecting their lips. 

"Turn around," he says. 

"What?" Steve asks, but Bucky's already moving, flipping Steve so his front is pressed against the brick wall instead. 

Draping himself over Steve's back, it's a matter of seconds of quick, precise movements for Bucky to arrange Steve. Press his chest flat against the wall, pull his hips out so he's arching his back, kick his feet apart, reach around Steve to the buckles of the blue tac pants, and grind his own clothed erection against Steve's ass.

"Augh Bucky!" Steve moans, arching further and pushing back against Bucky. 

"Yeah, I got you Stevie," Bucky growls into his ear, then takes the lobe into his mouth and bites. 

Steve screams a little.

Bucky finally gets the pants undone, and leans back to tug them down around Steve's thighs, underwear and all. He brings both hands up to grope and massage the globes of Steve's ass, smirking as Steve writhes at the touch.

"Wait, wait Bucky!" Steve says suddenly, bracing an arm over his head and looking over his shoulder.

"What, babydoll?" Bucky asks, right thumb stroking Steve's crease as he uses his metal hand to unbuckle his own pants and draw his cock out, rock hard and already dripping.

"We're in public Buck," Steve whines. "Anyone could see!" 

Bucky shrugs. 

"If you don't wanna we don't hafta," he says, taking his flesh hand off Steve's ass to dig something out of a pocket on his tac vest while he jacks himself steadily with his left. 

Steve pants, distracted by the sight of Bucky working himself with his metal arm. 

"But," Bucky continues, "if there's even anyone around here to see - this is part of the evacuation zone, Stevie - as far as I'm concerned all they'll be seein' is their Captain gettin' his just reward for savin' all their lives, at great risk to his own."

Steve snaps his eyes up to meet Bucky's. It's Bucky's turn to simply raise a brow. 

Bucky's still pumping his own cock, visibly shuddering as another drop of precome wells up, and Steve can't resist looking down to watch. 

"What'd'ya say, pal?" Bucky brings his right hand out of his tac vest and holds up his prize. "You wanna?"

"What, why d'you have lube in your uniform?" Steve demands once he realizes what Bucky's holding.

"What can I say?" Bucky grins, wide and playful. "Always gotta be prepared, that's my motto."

"Yeah, you're a real Boy Scout, now shut up and fuck me Barnes," Steve orders, turning his head back to face the wall and reaching his free arm between his legs to grab his own cock.

"So you wanna?" Bucky asks again.

"Fuck yes I wanna," Steve snaps. Bucky's already moving, slotting his erection between Steve's cheeks and plastering his upper body against Steve's.

"Always so eager for me babydoll," Bucky murmurs, hips jerking against Steve's ass.

"Always so slow Barnes," Steve pants between each word, trying to steady himself on his feet as each movement of Bucky against him makes him sway and almost lose his balance.

"Patience Rogers," Bucky growls, back to licking and chewing on his ear. 

"Don't 'patience' me Barnes-auh!" Steve is cut off by the press of two of Bucky's slicked metal fingers at his hole. 

The unexpected stretch burns as Bucky shoves them in all the way to the knuckles. Steve's fist tightens on his own dick, squeezing harshly at the base to calm himself. 

He whines, high and needy, pushing back and desperate for more despite the pain. 

Bucky laughs, low and throaty, kissing down what he can reach of Steve's jawline, nuzzling his stubble against Steve's neck. He pushes his fingers in a fraction more before drawing them out to press a third one in.

Steve moans at that, loud enough to echo off the alley walls. 

Bucky's right hand is pushing Steve's uniform top up so he can scratch over Steve's nipples, alternating between them with vicious pinches while he scissors his fingers in Steve's hole. 

"You like that baby?"

"Yeah Buck, yeah I love it, _please_ ," Steve babbles, arching his back still further, trying to chase the dual sensation of Bucky's rough attention on his chest and Bucky's thick fingers opening his ass. 

"Please what?" Bucky asks.

"Please, I need it, I need it!" Steve begs, and even though he didn't resume stroking himself, the force with which Bucky is finger-fucking him slides his leaking cock through the tight circle of his fist.

"Need what?" Bucky teases, and takes his fingers out of Steve's ass. 

"Dammit Barnes!" Steve growls, letting go of his cock to reach back and bury his hand in Bucky's hair. He yanks, and cranes his neck to kiss Bucky, open and wet and messy. 

Bucky's right hand disappears from Steve's chest, and Steve feels it on his ass, spreading him open. 

Steve barely has a chance to register the dripping head of Bucky's cock against his hole before Bucky thrusts, one sharp movement making Steve take him in to the hilt all at once, clap of his hips slapping against Steve's ass loud and echoing.

Steve keens into Bucky's mouth, unable to participate in the kiss anymore, trying to adjust to the sudden, thick intrusion. 

Bucky doesn't move, giving Steve a moment, still pressed tight over Steve's back now with his hips flush against Steve's ass. He fucks his tongue into Steve's mouth instead, rough and fast, a promise. 

Steve just keeps his mouth open, hand clenching in Bucky's hair to hold him close, letting Bucky kiss him. The rim of his hole flutters and aches around the base of Bucky's dick, and Steve's thighs shake. 

He's breathing hard through his nose, audible huffs of air, alternately keening and whimpering, before he gives Bucky's plundering tongue a tentative lick. 

Bucky knows Steve and takes the action for the sign that it is, circling his hips and grinding forward before drawing back. 

Steve claws at the brick wall above him with one hand, still holding onto Bucky's hair with the other even as Bucky breaks the kiss to move down to his neck again. 

It feels like forever until Bucky's thick cock is almost out of Steve, just the swollen head caught in the clenching ring of muscle. 

Bucky pauses there, panting into Steve's neck as Steve writhes, trying to push back but prevented by the way Bucky's hands are gripping his hips. 

Finally, Steve settles, even releasing Bucky's hair.

Bucky straightens up, and meets Steve's eyes. 

"You are worth everything to me," he says seriously, and watches Steve's eyes widen, even black with arousal as they are. "I don't care who it is, what other lives are at risk. You choose your life first."

Steve bites his kiss swollen lower lip, not saying anything for long seconds. Eventually, he nods. 

"Same goes for you Buck. Til the end of the line."

"Til the end of the line," Bucky agrees, and slams home, starting up a brutal rhythm. 

Steve screams, scrambles at the wall, and goes back to jacking his own cock. 

Bucky slowly presses himself over Steve again, fucking his cock deep into Steve, balls slapping almost painfully against Steve's perineum, hips thrusting hard and fast. 

He adjusts position, forcing Steve's legs wider, balancing his feet on the inside of Steve's, and Steve _howls_. 

Bucky lets go of Steve's hips, wrapping his right arm around Steve's chest again and taking over jacking Steve's cock with his metal hand. 

"I love you Stevie," Bucky says into Steve's neck. It's sweaty and dirty, and when he licks the skin he can taste blood. "I refuse to live without you."

"Same," Steve gasps, "s'the same for me Buck."

Bucky growls deep and animalistic from his chest, hips stuttering, metal hand pumping Steve faster. 

"I love you Bucky. I won't-" -gasp- "die if you don't," Steve pants out, limbs shaking almost violently. 

Bucky feels his balls draw up tight and knows his orgasm is rushing toward him. He bites down, vicious, hard enough to draw blood and leave a mark that'll take more than ten minutes to fade, on the side of Steve's neck.

Steve screams. 

Over the rush of blood in his ears, Bucky can just hear Steve's cum splattering on the grimy wall in front of them, Steve's cock swelling, pulsing and jerking in his hand. 

He releases Steve's neck abruptly, hands returning to Steve's hips, nails digging in and leaving bruises, rearing back to thrust one - two - three more times, burying his cock deep in Steve's tight hot hole to spend himself with a roar. 

He can feel Steve reaching back for him, groping at his thighs, his arms, as the rush of orgasm subsides. 

"Buck, Bucky, I'm gonna, I can't," Steve is babbling, and it takes Bucky a second before he gets it. Then he's quick to wrap both his arms around Steve's chest, pulling Steve upright and against him, stumbling back to lean against the opposite alley wall. 

He slumps down, all the way until he's sitting with his legs stretched out in front of him, back against the brick. He slips out of Steve sometime in the process, who follows him down and curls into his lap, pants around his knees and head against Bucky's chest. 

Bucky can feel the rough grit and brick of the alley wall against the top of his ass and small of his back, where his shirt rode up and his pants slipped down. He's aware enough to realize he doesn't want to know exactly what is slimy underneath him, and he's pretty sure Steve is probably leaking cum all over his uniform-covered thigh where Steve's ass landed in their ungainly collapse.

Bucky profoundly cares about exactly none of that. 

"I love you," he whispers into Steve's hair. 

"I love you too," Steve whispers back, face hidden against Bucky's tac vest. "I'll . . . try not to do that again."

"We'll both try, how bout that?" Bucky says wearily, pausing to look at his left hand hovering over Steve's head. It's covered in lube and semen and whatever the fuck else he got into during the battle, and his right one isn't much better but at least that one doesn't have sex fluids. 

So he starts petting Steve's hair with his flesh hand, before saying "baby, we should probably get back, help with cleanup."

"Cleanup can damn well wait," Steve grumbles, quoting Bucky. He huffs, glad Steve can't see his fond smile. 

"Don't exactly want anyone to find us like this either," he points out gently.

"Part of the evacuation zone," Steve says petulantly. Bucky has to bite his lip to keep from laughing at that, and just keeps petting Steve's hair. 

He knows in less than two minutes, Steve will be on his feet readjusting his pants and trying not to panic over the idea of people knowing he snuck off to have an immediate post-battle "thank god you/we're alive, don't ever do that again" quickie. Bucky will have to convince him as long as their junk is covered, no one will be able to tell what mess is from fighting and what's from fucking. 

Bucky won't tell Steve about the very large, very visible hickey on his neck. Steve will tell Bucky about the obvious semen stain on his tac pants, Bucky will tell Steve it's not _obviously_ semen, it could be anything, they were just in a battle for Christ's sake, stains _happen_. 

Steve will say they smell like sex, Bucky will say no one will notice over the other smells of sweat and blood and dust and gun powder. Steve will reluctantly agree, and they'll be joining the other Avengers in the cleanup effort within ten minutes. 

Once they're there, Natasha will say the stench of sex coming off them overpowers everything else, and Tony will fly by to shout "nice hickey!" at them, pointing to make sure everyone in hearing distance turns and stares at Steve. 

Steve will blush like a tomato the entire time he's trying to coordinate with SHIELD and civilian authorities, who will look at him and stoically refuse to break eye contact (SHIELD) or stammer and giggle and refuse to make eye contact (civilian).

The cleanup effort will continue. They'll go back to the tower. 

One day, Steve will pull the same type of stupid stunt (or Bucky himself will). One day . . . 

But right here, right now, in just this one second with Steve curled against him, both their cocks out for the world to see, sitting in another dirty New York alley, Bucky isn't afraid. He isn't angry. 

He's just in love, head over heels irrational blinding love, with the most important life in his Universe tucked in his lap. 

He knows Steve feels exactly the same, equally in love, just as happy on Bucky's lap as Bucky is for him to be there. 

Yeah, Bucky thinks, this one single second is worth everything.

**Author's Note:**

> Content Warning (spoilers): This story cuts in when it's already post-battle, and Bucky is dragging Steve away to Lecture Him for pulling another self-sacrificing move. They discuss it, which involves discussion of children being in danger (Steve put himself in harm's way to keep a bus full of kids safe). The most it's really elaborated on is Bucky telling Steve the Hulk was already moving the bus when Steve threw himself at the baddie, so the kids were okay anyway. 
> 
> They go on to discuss what their lives are worth to each other, especially Steve's to Bucky, and what Steve is worth "objectively [compared to regular people]". Because Steve is a hero who saves the world on a regular basis, Bucky insists his life is more valuable than any civilian's, or even a hundred civilians, including children. While I understand Bucky's argument, I personally think it's bullshit for a variety of reasons but perhaps ESPECIALLY because it puts A Lot of pressure on Steve to keep being The Hero. I have Lots of Thoughts about that, but TLDR I don't agree with Bucky on this, and I'm mentioning it here in case it could be triggering for someone with self-worth (or other) issues.
> 
> Personally, I believe "worth" and "deserve" actually have little to do with anything. People deserve to love and be loved based on the sole criteria of existing. If you exist, if you are alive, (even if you don't always feel like you are), you are worthy. You deserve love. End of story. Now whether or not you can demand it from other people becomes more complicated based on your behavior, but whatever IF YOU ARE ALIVE YOU DESERVE TO FEEL LOVE I REJECT ALL OTHER ARGUMENTS (which also doesn't make you obligated to love everyone or everyone obligated to love you etc).
> 
> But y'know. Fiction. And the entire point wasn't about "worth" etc, it was 10000% getting them to fuck. Which they did. 
> 
> And there's also a general self-sacrifice/death wish theme in the set up of "getting them to fuck" that could be an trigger.
> 
> ANYWAY enough of that, you can find me [on Tumblr](http://smdarling.tumblr.com/) where I pretend badly to be a human being by reblogging 99% of everything on my Tumblr with no commentary (except occasional rants in the tags). I am trying to start interacting more though, which hey incidentally, this is part of that! If you want, you can also [reblog it here](http://smdarling.tumblr.com/post/166036812240/worth-everything-smdarling-marvel-cinematic) HA I DID THE LINK THING FINALLY
> 
> Hearts and butterflies and all that jazz y'all  
> w/<3~Darling


End file.
